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  • Sam Darling

Self Publishing

Self publishing an e-book is easy peasy lemon squeezy. Right?

Oh, lord, you guys.

I wrote the book. I finished the first draft two years ago. Then, I was pregnant, moved house domestically, moved internationally, moved again domestically, and darn-it-all, I was tired.

But you know what was harder than all of that rigmarole and writing? Actually sussing out the online system for self published e-books and uploading the bugger in the proper format.

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The thing is, y’all, I’m good with computers. I was at a Skeptics meeting the other night and was seated in the middle of three computer scientists talking shop to such an extent that most of their words were acronyms. And you know what? I wasn’t lost. I could even contribute. Because I’m kind of a gear head. I’ve absorbed it over the years and I am not cowed by technology.

So, it occurred to me when I was in the middle of the e-book uploader rejecting my draft for the fourth time over some fiddly bit of formatting, that there’s a method to the madness here. I actually now think, and specifically with, that the system is designed with a flaw. I think they make it deliberately annoying to upload or make changes because they want you to give up and pay for their upload service.

So that’s my theory. They’re frustrating authors at the crucial final stage *just* enough to get them to pay for help. Or give up.   >:[ Like aspiring writers need more reasons to second guess themselves.

I will not give up. You’ll see my book available for download by the end of the week. [Puts the coffee on. Prepares for the all nighter. Curses her monitor. Sings the second half of Jerusalem.]

Bring me my Bow of burning gold; Bring me my Arrows of desire: Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold! Bring me my Chariot of fire!

I will not cease from Mental Fight, Nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand: Till we have built Jerusalem, In England’s green and pleasant land.

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